2015 in review

2015 was a big year.  A lot of things happened.

These were my goals for the year:

• continue to improve at bodyweight gymnastics, including pull-ups, dips, muscle-ups and handstand push-ups; combination of continuing to gain absolute upper body strength, and improving relative strength by losing a few pounds
• Check.  Highlights: consistent muscle-ups, even if I'm not stringing together big sets yet, and going from zero strict handstand push-ups to a max set of 16.  I'll take it.

• continue to improve aerobically and mentally; don't panic on long or hard training pieces, stay in it and put in the work
• Constant work in progress, and doesn't come naturally, but getting better.

• continue to clean up Olympic weightlifting technique, which will translate into numbers closer to what I'm capable of strength-wise (this year: 150 snatch, 220 clean and jerk)
• Nope.  Babying my knee all year meant that I finally learned how to power clean and power snatch, but I only snatched 140 (once) and cleaned 201 (twice).  I need technical instruction.  

• continue to keep nutrition on point without obsessing over being perfect or the number on the scale; focus on quality and eating to maximize performance
• Eeeeesh.  Fail on the obsessing part of that.  I'm very, very happy that I decided to work with Mike this year.  He is fantastic.  But, I'm a perfectionist and have a touch of OCD, so weighing and measuring my food for 6 months took a pretty big psychological toll.  From past experience, I knew it would be tough for me to lose weight, so I wanted to do everything perfectly that way I couldn't look back and say "well, if I had tried harder/done better/been more compliant, I would have had more success."  I feel very confident saying that I could not have tried any harder to lose weight while prioritizing performance.  Sitting comfortably at my leanest ever: 159lbs with noticeable improvement in body comp.

• make the right decision moving forward in the next chapter: finding the right fit, balancing professional ambitions while maintaining training as priority, and setting myself up for a high quality of life by managing expectations of stress
• I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, so I tried to hedge my bets and keep all my options open.  I started 2015 thinking that I would have to move away this year and start a postdoc elsewhere, and that made me sad.  I'm happier in Cincinnati than I have ever been, and didn't want to take a job in another state just because I was "supposed to," especially when I have reservations about this career path. I decided I wanted to stay in Cincinnati, and found the best position possible here that would allow me to keep an academic career track open while also allowing me to continue enjoying the lifestyle I have made for myself.  It was a very stressful transition, but now that I'm more comfortable in my new lab, I see very clearly that I would have had to give up training at this level had I taken a more traditional postdoc elsewhere.  I think I made the right decision.  Check.

Other notable events in 2015:

• Making a big contribution to the team during the Open (three scores!), and serving as the alternate on the Regionals roster
• Knee surgery
• Defending my Ph.D

So.  What's next? 

I'm kind of floundering, without a clear goal.  My mental breakdown / burn-out in the last month was largely fueled by the fact that I've made training my number one priority, and the concurrent realization that I'm just not that good.  It's kind of like, what's the point? I still want to be on the Regionals team, but I recognize that the possibility of that is slipping farther and farther away each year, despite my own personal improvements.  I refuse to have my only goal be dependent on others. I refuse to get competitive with my friends and begrudge their successes because they overshadow mine. I refuse to be content with mediocrity.  I love training. I love the person I've become since prioritizing training. And, I'm addicted to PRs.

But, still.  What's next?

Thursday

OFF or easy aerobic recovery of choice

53:00 hike at a soggy Ault Park, including a treacherous few minutes on the old rail brigde

Wednesday

AM
1200m light sled drag, alternate forward & backward as desired
+
10:00 mobility work of choice

PM
A. Back squat w/chains, 8 x 3 @ 45% 1RM on bar, 10X1 - emphasis on depth & speed; begin a set every :60
B. Axle overhead walking lunge, 3 x 20m @ 75; 2:00 rest
C. Weighted supinated CTB pull-up, 3 x 3-4, 31X0; 2:00 rest
+
For time:
75 toes-to-bar, 30 double-unders every time you come off the bar
+
3 rounds as cool-down:
250m row
25 air squats

AM

complete with 45 on the sled

PM

A. complete with 135 on the bar

B. complete 

C. 20, 25, 30(3) @ 165.5

+

9:20

+

complete


Meh.  Today was rough.  Felt more beat up than I was expecting.

Back squats felt better than last week, but still felt heavier than I would like.  

Axle lunge was fine.  Didn't wear any gear, would probably prefer to wear at least wrist wraps next time.  

Weighted CTBs felt excellent.  Extremely relieved to find that my two weeks of not counting, drinking a fair bit, and dozens of Christmas cookies didn't show up on the scale.

TTB/DU went about exactly as I thought it would (terrible).  My grip felt fatigued before I even started, and no amount of rolling or stretching helped.  Did 9 sets of double-unders, all of which were unbroken which was a happy surprise.  Stopped at: 15/25/32/37/42/47/52/57/64/75.  I lost my ability to kip more than 5 reps early, but it didn't occur to me to hang on and do a few strict after the kip was gone until closer to the end (explains why the last two sets were bigger). I don't know how to do better - grip fatigue is still such a big weakness.  Probably could have snuck out with 8 sets of double-unders if I added just one or two strict to each set of 5 kipping in the middle, but it still wouldn't be a good score.  (Edited to add: remember when 75 TTB for time in sets no smaller than 5 took me 22:57?  One of my first SHE testers in September 2012.  Sigh.  Progress.  Still not satisfied.)

I have a feeling I'll be more sore from the air squats than from everything else combined.  Some cool-down.

Tuesday

AM
30:00-60:00 easy walk or hike

PM
A. 1 power clean + 1 hang power clean + 2 split jerks, 5 x 1 starting @ 145 and adding a bit set-to-set; begin a set every 2:00
B. Touch-and-go clean-grip deadlifts, 10-8-6; 2:30 rest
C. Kipping handstand push-ups, 10:00 practice/tech work
+
20-15-10 for time @ 90%:
Handstand walk meters
Kettlebell swings, 53

AM

subbed 30:00 AirDyne @ Z1

+

10:00 mobility

PM

A. 145, 155, 160, 165, 170

B. 195(10), 225(8), 255(6)

C. complete

+

4:39


Power cleans felt super easy today.  Some of the hang power cleans were better than others.  Split jerks were easy, but the hardest part of the whole thing was returning the bar to the shoulders for the second split jerk.

Started out a little light on the deadlifts... 10 at 195 was super easy, and 8 at 225 was still fast and easy.  Made the big jump to 255 for the set of 6, and speed slowed considerably but it wasn't a max.

Kipping handstand push-ups were a disaster.  I set up to Open standard and videoed all of these to make sure heels were legal (no issues).  Over the course of the 10:00, I made 3 sets of 5, and 8 sets of 1-3, in which I fell off the wall or lost my balance at the bottom. UGH I HATE THESE.  My kip is still kind of pathetic, but when I really try to bring my knees all the way down to my chest, I fall off the wall.  More practice, please.  At least I'm not failing to lock out reps... 

For time piece was hard, my shoulders felt super fatigued right from go.  Everything unbroken.  Picked up the bell with a decent sense of urgency, but took quite a long transition before each handstand walk to ensure I could complete the distance unbroken.  Felt the Christmas cookies here.  Blech.

Monday

AM
30:00-60:00 round-the-world of choice or swim

PM
A1. Wrist flexion stretching, kneeling w/top of hands on ground and fingers facing toward feet, rotate locked elbows forward and lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
A2. Wrist extension stretching, kneeling w/palms on ground and hands supinated so fingers facing toward feet, lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
B. Squat snatch, accumulate 10 singles @ 80-90% of 1RM; rest as needed
+
1000m row easy
+
For 10:00:
Evens: 3-5 strict pull-ups
Odds: 3-5 strict ring dips
+
1000m row easy

AM

skipped; red-eye flight

PM

A1/A2. complete
B. 103 across (73.5%)
+
complete, complete, complete
5 pull-ups across
3 dips across


Super grateful to have an easy day.  I forgot how much the red-eye sucks.

Took a long nap and came into the gym feeling pretty sluggish, so I didn't want to push the snatches.  These were super easy, and actually felt really good today.

Pull-ups were easy, all pronated.  Dips were hard, I feel like I haven't done any ring dips (other than warming up for muscle-ups) in a really long time.

Sunday

Learned to shoot a gun

+

90:00 easy stroll through Laguna Beach

Not ready to come back :(

Saturday

55:00 hike @ Wagon Wheel Canyon 

Friday

OFF 

Did not get out of my pajamas today. 

Thursday

85:00 easy hike along Monarch Beach 

+

3 hours of cookie-baking

+

60:00 hot tub

Yup. 

Wednesday

Supposed to be OFF but stopped in to Kellie's gym to say hi to some people and watch Kellie PR her hang clean. 

40:00 mobility 

+

30:00 Assault Bike, easy 

And now I'm off for real. 

Tuesday

For 10:00:
Evens: :30 2-arm passive hang from fat bar
Odds: :10-:15 L-sit
+
5 rounds easy:
200m jog
20m bear crawl
20m stone carry
20m prowler push, tough indoors
+
3 sets not for time:
2:30 anterior loaded banded march (bear hug a med ball @ your chest)
5/leg unweighted 1-leg reverse hyper, controlled throughout

complete 

0:15 L-sit across 

+

complete 

90 on the prowler on very sticky floors 

+

complete 

held a 20lb wallball

This was fun! And now I understand what all the complaining has been about on the banded march. Oy. 

Oh, and false alarm on the knee. Very gingerly tested an air squat and it's fine. I spent the last 16 hours in a dead panic that I tore what's left of my meniscus. That was weird. 

SO HAPPY TO BE OFF. 

Monday

AM
800m light/moderate sled drag, alternate forward & backward as desired
200m Farmer's walk, moderate/tough
+
10:00 mobility work of choice

PM
A. Back squat w/chains, 12 x 2 @ 45% 1RM on bar, 10X1 - emphasis on depth & speed; begin a set every :60
B. Pistols, 5:00-8:00 easy practice, don't accumulate more than 20 total reps
C. Weighted supinated pull-up, build to a max for the day
+
10 rounds for time:
1 rope climb
5 burpees
+
As a cool-down:
500m row
400m run
300m ski-erg
200m run

AM

subbed 30:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM

A. complete with 135 on the bar

B. DNF

C. 235.5 (165.5 + 70, PR+4)

+

7:20

+

complete


Back squats felt AWFUL today.  I don't know what my deal was.  The bar felt so, so heavy when I unracked it each time.  I think depth was still good, but speed was definitely slower than it has been.

Intended to do the same thing with the pistols as last week, where I worked backwards from strongest knee sleeve to bare-kneed, but I was struggling big-time with the bees knees (left only).  I missed a few attempts when I just fell backwards at the bottom, but more concerningly, on my last attempt I felt a very sharp stabbing on the medial side.  Called it.  Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.  Haven't tested an air squat since then, I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.

Weighted pull-up felt great! The 70 was tough but not super slow, so I threw on 75 but only made it half-way.  I was hesitant to weigh myself since I haven't been tracking my food, so I started with the scale at 170 but I had to keep nudging it down, much to my surprise.  Mike was right, relaxing a bit isn't going to completely derail me.  That's a relief.

Didn't feel like moving much faster on the rope climbs.  I think I did a good job of dropping right into a burpee after a climb, but I took a few breaths before each climb.  Nothing was a limiter in particular, I just wasn't in a hurry.

Actually really enjoyed the cool down! 

Sunday

AM
30:00-60:00 easy walk or hike

PM
A. 1 power clean + 2 hang power cleans + 1 split jerk, 5 x 1 @ 145; begin a set every 2:00
+
9-6-3 for time @ high effort:
Strict handstand push-ups
Deadlifts, 185
+
rest as needed
+
For time @ high effort:
30 double-unders
30m handstand walk
30 double-unders
30 kettlebell swings, 53
30 double-unders

AM

45:00 @ Ault Park

+

15:00 mobility @ home

PM

A. complete 

+

1:16

+

3:24

Today was a great day. I think the combination of talking about how I've been feeling with a variety of people, knowing I have a break coming very soon, and having a workout I can absolutely smash is magic. I haven't tracked my food since last Monday and I drank 4 nights this week (one of them to excess, eeesh), and getting a glimpse of how my life could be if training isn't a priority wasn't a pretty picture. I'm feeling like that was a good first step in blowing off some steam. Approximately 30 seconds into my hike this morning I just felt happier than I have in several weeks. Thank goodness. 

Barbell complex was just okay. Power cleans continue to feel excellent, but hang power cleans are hit or miss if they feel good (but no fails). Some were way better than others. Jerks were easy.

Super happy with the hspu/deadlift workout. I was a little worried going in, because my shoulders are still pretty sore from the other day. But once I started, I felt like I was flying through it. Everything unbroken. It's fun to be good at something. And that something is something I couldn't do at all 6 months ago. Thank you, Stephen, for giving me something I could smash. I needed that. 

Rested 15:00 between the two. 

The second piece wasn't as exhilarating as the first one, but still went very well. Split the handstand walk 15m/15m, otherwise everything unbroken. Shoulders are completely, 100% done. Yikes. 

Saturday

AM
30:00-60:00 round-the-world of choice or swim

PM
A1. Wrist flexion stretching, kneeling w/top of hands on ground and fingers facing toward feet, rotate locked elbows forward and lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
A2. Wrist extension stretching, kneeling w/palms on ground and hands supinated so fingers facing toward feet, lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
B. Squat snatch, build to a tough single, then take off 15 and accumulate 5 more singles @ that weight; rest as needed
+
Every :60 for 10 sets:
1 muscle-up + 1 squat clean @ 125 + 1 front squat @ 125
+
1 time through, goal is no breaks:
:60/side plank
:40/side plank
:20/side plank

AM

32:00 of row, GHD sit-ups, run

+

15:00 of shoulder and calf pre/rehab

+

15:00 mobility @ home 

PM

A1/A2. complete 

B. 125, 110x5

+

complete 

+

complete 

Well, today was the first day in a week that I didn't leave the gym close to (or in) tears, so that's already a success. Three more days. 

My shoulders are FRIED from Thursday. Holy shit. I don't know if it's from trying to do the muscle-ups and snatches cold, or the heavy benching, but they are so stiff and sore. 

I think I'm going to start using knee sleeves again for snatching and cleaning. My knee doesn't hurt but I'm babying it and being hesitant on explosive movements. I don't know if I'm just subconsciously protecting it because I'm expecting it to hurt, or I know it's going to pop (it does with every single squat), but I'm not lifting well and it's getting annoying. 

Technique felt better that it has in a while on the snatches, but the bar felt very heavy. 

I was worried about the muscle-ups considering how sore my shoulders are, but they were fine. Mostly pretty low catches, but never in danger of failing. Squat cleans went better than last week, but it felt like I was catching high and riding into the bottom. Metcons, no wrist wraps, no belt. 

Shoulders complained on the side planks, but no issues going unbroken straight through. 

Friday

OFF 

Not nearly as hungover today as I feared, but I'm reminded why I don't drink anymore. Ugh. 

Had a long chat with a coworker today about goals and Skyped with Mike, which turned into a life coaching session rather than nutrition coaching. The combined advice I'm getting across the board is that I need to relax, enjoy the process, and not be so neurotic. Easier said than done, but I'll try. 

Thursday

AM
5 sets very easy:
2:00 bike
:30 handstand hold - can be against wall
2:00 bike
:30/side plank or 3 wall walks
+
15:00 mobility work of choice

PM
10:00 muscle-up tech practice on fat rings
+
A1. Bear crawl, 5 x 10' forward + 10' reverse, slow & controlled keeping hips level; :30 rest
A2. Deadbug w/hands pressed into wall, 5 x 10 alternating breathing out hard each rep; :30 rest
B. Power snatch from blocks (bar @ mid-thigh), 10:00 to build to a heavy single, then take off 20 and accumulate 3-5 more singles there according to feel
+
5 sets:
3-5 tough close grip bench presses
150m row sprint
5:00 walk rest

AM

3 sets complete

PM

3 rough singles 

+

A1/A2. complete 

B. 110, 5 @ 90

+

135(5), row in :29.8

140(5), row in :29.3

145(5), row in :29.3

150(5), row in :29.3

155(3), row in :29.2

Really not a fan of training in the morning, but we have our lab's Christmas party this evening. I think I might get drunk. It just sounds like a good idea. 

Could not get my shoulders warm at all for the muscle-ups. Caught these all very low and just felt like more of a struggle than it should be. The 3rd rep wasn't any easier than the first, so I just called it. 

Snatches off the blocks were also rough. I really think I'm missing some huge cue mechanically. The turnover at 110 was soft and slow, so didn't go any higher. The reps at 90 were fine. 

Bench felt really good. Couldn't pull any faster than 1:35-1:36. I like this combo. 

Wednesday

AM
5000m row @ Z1
+
10:00 hamstring/hip/quad mobility work

PM
A. Front squat w/no sleeves, 4 x 2-3, 20X1; 2:30 rest
B. Pendlay row, 4 x 3-4, 20X0; 2:00 rest
+
For 14:00:
Evens: 1 bar muscle-up + 4 CTB pull-ups
Odds: 10-15' handstand walk
+
For time @ 90%:
12 stone-over-shoulders, small stone
200m run
50m Farmer's walk, 100/hand
400m run

AM

subbed 22:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM

A. 193, 203, 213, 223(2)

B. 143, 153, 158(3), 158(3)

+

3 sets complete 

3 failed BMUs 

ripped and called it 

+

5:30


Got to the gym a little before 5pm and it immediately stressed me out.  So many people.  So little space for activities.

Front squats felt okay - in nanos and with a belt.  Felt like my upper back was rounding quite a bit on the later sets.

Pendlay rows continue to be limited by grip.  Can I / should I use straps?

Made my first attempt at a BMU, which surprised me.  Doing the CTBs after the BMU was way harder than the TTB last week; the kip wasn't the same.  Still able to butterfly, but it wasn't smooth.  Missed the 4th and 5th BMU, but still did the CTBs (one of these sets was not butterfly, I was swinging all over the place).  Then missed the 6th BMU and ripped, so called it.  Handstand walks would have been easy if I had a place to do 10-15', but it was so crowded that I kept moving around each minute to stay out of peoples' way.

Last piece was fast and fun.  I always like shouldering stones.  Jogged most of the first 200m before I realized that I should be going faster than a jog.  FW may have  been a bit shorter than a true 50m, there was no space on the comp side where I would normally do 50m so I had to go through the class side while they were doing burpees.  Tried to push the pace on the last run, still not a sprint but it was definitely faster than the first 200m.  

Then I had a lovely dinner with Brandie and Leah, which was much needed.  There was a lot of laughing and also a horrible few minutes after we all ingested very, very potent jalapenos.

Talked with Mike a bit today.  I'm taking 2 weeks off from counting macros.  He tried to talk me off the ledge that taking some time off won't completely derail all my progress, but I only halfway believe him.  Why is my personality wired so that everything is all or nothing?  Why am I missing the "moderation" setting?  

Did I build this ship to wreck?

I can't remember the last time I felt this burnt-out.

No, I'm not quitting.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and daunted by how far behind I continue to lag in so many areas.  It's a downside to being in such a competitive gym; we all push each other to be better, but it's very easy to compare yourself and your progress to others.  And, it becomes very easy to lose sight of how far you've come, and feel inadequate.

It also becomes very easy to lose sight of why you started this in the first place, and why you love it.  And, I do love it.  I love the people I've met.  I also love the person I've become outside of the gym in response to making competitive fitness a priority.  But, I've been in a funk for a few weeks now that has built to a boiling point, and something has to change.

I'm a very competitive person; I always have been.  So, when I learned that CrossFit was a sport, and that CSC was a competitive gym, of course I gravitated toward wanting to be a part of that.  But as I've improved, I continue to want more.  It's not enough to be on the competitive side of the gym.  I want to be one of the best girls in the gym.  And, I know I can't control who else is in the gym, or their progress, but I can want more from myself.  I want to be one of the girls to beat.  I want to hold my own in every type of workout across the board.  I don't want it to be a surprise when I put up a decent score.  I don't want to have crippling weaknesses.

The tipping point was a workout that I didn't even do.

For time:
5-4-3-2-1
Deadlifts
Bar muscle-ups

I can do this workout for completion, but I can't put up a competitive time.  I know that I continue to improve, and that a year from now, I probably will be able to hold my own on a workout like this.  But, do you know how much work it's been to even get to this point?  I'm exhausted.  I follow individualized programming.  I don't skip training.  I don't drink.  I prioritize sleep and recovery.  I hired a nutrition coach and have weighed and measured every bite of food that I've eaten for 6 months.  I literally do every single thing right.  And I still have so far to go.  And that's depressing.

I need a break, and I need to get my head right before the upcoming season.  I'm just feeling dangerously close to sabotaging much of the progress I've made, and throwing in the towel because I've lost sight of the big picture.

Tuesday

OFF or Z1 active recovery of choice 

OFF

Went back up to Mobility Fit this morning, and saw Kirk instead of Drew.  Kirk is pretty sure that what I'm feeling is some stuff tacking down the fibular head so it's not gliding properly. He seems to think that it's an easy fix and agreed with me that 6 weeks was excessive.  He needled a few more spots in the lateral calf, then lateral quad, lateral hamstring and adductor (Jesus) and gave me some peroneal stretches/exercises. 

Intended to make up yesterday's sled drag/FW after work today, then just drove past the gym and got a beer instead. The downward spiral begins. 

Monday

AM
800m light/moderate sled drag, alternate forward & backward as desired
200m Farmer's walk, moderate/tough
+
10:00 mobility work of choice

PM
A. Back squat w/chains, 10 x 2 @ 45% 1RM on bar, 10X1 - emphasis on depth & speed; begin a set every :60
B. Pistols, 5:00-8:00 easy practice, don't accumulate more than 20 total reps
C. Weighted pronated pull-ups, 2-2-1-1, 21X0; :60 rest
+
8:00 @ 80%:
1 rope climb
10m prowler push, moderate grind
30 double-unders
10m prowler push
+
For time:
500m row @ 97%

AM

subbed 30:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM
A. complete with 135 on the bar 

B. complete 

C. 45(2), 50(2), 55.5(1), 60.5(1) @165.5
+

4 + 1 rope climb with 140 on the prowler 

+

DNF, burnt-out headcase


It was pouring this morning, so skipped the outdoor AM session.  Might be able to make this up tomorrow...

Saw Drew Cook this morning - after his clinic, I was intrigued about dry needling and was wondering if it would help knock out this trigger point on my calf that has been bothering me pretty much the entire time my knee has been bad.  Um, that was intense.  I thought I had one trigger point, but turns out I had like 15.  And, I have to go back tomorrow because my hamstring is still jacked up post-op (news to me, I really thought it was back to normal...) and also there's something funky with my foot?  He had me make appointments for 6 weeks, but I guarantee I'm not going to keep them.  I don't have a co-pay, so I'll play along for a while...

Back squats got better as the sets went on.  Didn't really warm up a whole lot.

Pistols started out rough.  Tried a couple with no knee sleeves, and while I could do them on the right, I couldn't reverse direction at the bottom on the left and kept falling backwards.  Put on the bees knees (left only) and did 10 alternating, then put on the thinner black knee sleeve (left only) and did 6 alternating, then finally was able to do 2 or 3 shaky reps on the left with no knee sleeves.  They'll come back.  All in nanos.

Weighted pull-ups felt good.  The last single was very tough, but it's a 7lb PR for a pronated single... that's a PR for a pronated double, as well.

8:00 piece was fine.  All double-unders unbroken.  No issue on the rope climbs.  Took a wild guess on how heavy a moderate grind would be... it wasn't easy, but wasn't all that grindy.

Had absolutely zero motivation to do the 500m row.  I procrastinated for probably 20:00 before starting, and even sat down next to Duprie and asked him if he ever just "didn't want to."  I don't know what my deal is, because I know I'm sitting on a 1:39 PR.  Finally started the row, and it actually felt great - held 1:37-1:38 for approximately 380m, then as soon as it started to get uncomfortable, I stopped rowing.  Let me repeat that.  I had 120m remaining, hadn't fallen off my pace, and I just stopped.  I knew it was going to start to hurt and I just didn't care enough to go there.  I stood up, walked outside, sat down where James pees, and started crying.

I don't like being a headcase.  I need a break.

Sunday

AM
30:00-60:00 easy walk or hike

PM
A. 1 power clean + 2 hang power cleans + 1 split jerk, take your time & build to a max
B. Clean-grip deadlift, 5-4-3-2-1, 11X1; 2:00 rest
+
15:00 @ 80%:
3 strict handstand push-ups
6 kettlebell swings, 70
9 toes-to-bar

AM

subbed 20:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM

A. 155, 165Fx3

B. 225(5), 240(4), 255(3), 275(2), 300F, 285(1)

+

9 + 6 KBS

Power cleans felt really good today, but I was having all kinds of issues at 165, which was extremely annoying.  Made the PC easily 3 times, and lost my grip on the first HPC (attempt 1) or the second HPC (attempt 2).  Didn't even go for the HPC on the 3rd attempt. I don't know what the problem was.  It wasn't even my broken thumb that lost the grip, it was the good hand both times.

CGDL felt heavy but not too slow, so I made the somewhat aggressive jump to the single at 300 but couldn't break it off the ground (although it's possible I didn't try all that hard).  Stripped the small plates and made the single at 285, but it felt very slow.  I'm forever destined to suck at deadlifting.

The 15:00 piece felt like it dragged on for an hour.  I looked at the clock 4 minutes in and audibly groaned.  Everything unbroken until the last set of TTB when I started to rip (5/4), with deliberate transitions. 

I'm hoping to take a few days off when I'm in CA over Christmas.  Today was the second day in a row that I've come home after training and I just want to lie down and cry.  I don't know what my problem is; physically, I feel great (like, best-ever), so I don't feel like it's an overtraining thing.  Work stress is dramatically better than it was a month or two ago, so it's not that.  Maybe it's that I haven't taken any time off since my knee surgery 6 months ago, or maybe it's that I feel like I should be progressing faster than I have been, or maybe it's the pressure of the impending Open season.  I'm just really sad and I can't shake it.

Saturday

AM
30:00-60:00 round-the-world of choice or swim

PM
A1. Wrist flexion stretching, kneeling w/top of hands on ground and fingers facing toward feet, rotate locked elbows forward and lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
A2. Wrist extension stretching, kneeling w/palms on ground and hands supinated so fingers facing toward feet, lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
B. Squat snatch clusters, 5 x 1.1; :10-:15 between singles, 2:00 rest
+
AMRAP in 8:00:
1 muscle-up
1 front squat from the ground, 145
2 muscle-ups
2 front squats from the ground, 145
3 muscle-ups
3 front squats from the ground, 145
and so on...
+
3 sets not for time:
:10-:15 L hang from bar accumulation
:10-:15 L sit on parallettes
5 moderate DB upright rows (both arms at same time)

AM

35:00 of row, wallballs, run, FLR

+

shoulder pre-hab

PM

A1/A2. complete 

B. 120, 120, 120, 125, 125(1.F)

+

4 + 4 MUs

+

complete
0:15 across for both
35/hand


Snatches felt better than last week, but still not crisp at all.  There was a couple of weeks where they were feeling great, I don't know what happened to that.  

Muscle-ups felt awesome again today!  I did the set of 2 unbroken, otherwise all singles with reasonably high catches.  Attempted a double on the very last set at the buzzer to close out the round of 5, but it wasn't even close.  Probably took just a hair too much rest between singles, I could probably push the pace a bit without risking failure.  But, here's why I didn't push it:

First time squat cleaning since pre-surgery, and it went terribly.  Warming up, 125 felt like 175 and I just lost all motivation to do this entire workout.  I just got really sad thinking that something that I have classically been good at is now a huge weakness and I don't have anything that stands out as a strength anymore.  Only squat cleaned the first 145, and I could barely stand up with it, so I ended up power cleaning then front squatting.  In metcons, no belt, and no wrist wraps (which was also challenging, I rely on those a lot but I didn't want to wear them on muscle-ups).  This blows.

Didn't even want to do the not for time stuff, I just wanted to go home.  

Friday

OFF

AM

slept in

PM

90:00 massage

Thursday

AM
5 sets very easy:
2:00 bike
:30 handstand hold - can be against wall
2:00 bike
3 wall walks
+
15:00 mobility work of choice

PM
10:00 muscle-up tech practice on fat rings
+
A1. Bear crawl, 5 x 10' forward + 10' reverse, slow & controlled keeping hips level; :30 rest
A2. Deadbug w/hands pressed into wall, 5 x 10 alternating breathing out hard each rep; :30 rest
B. Hang power snatch, build to a max for the day
+
10:00 @ 80%:
1 split jerk from blocks, 145-165
5 kipping handstand push-ups
30 double-unders
+
2 sets:
:50 row @ 97%
5:40 walk rest

AM

complete (minus last set of wall walks)

PM

complete, 2 singles, 4 doubles, 1 more single 

+

A1/A2. complete 

B. 120, 125F

+

6 + 3 hspus, with 165

+

254m

253m


So...I really appreciate the change of pace, but... errr... it was super awkward doing wall walks in my apartment.  If the Assault bikes ever come, I can do this at the gym next week, or else... could we try a different movement?  

Today was the best that muscle-ups have felt in many, many weeks.  Consistently caught the first one very high, and the doubles felt super easy today.  Went for a triple on one and was close, but not quite there.  This is a big relief.

Hang snatches didn't feel great.  I really don't like the hang position; it's really hard for me to remain patient and bring the bar all the way into my hips.  120 was pretty crisp, but caught the 125 with bent elbows and lost it behind.  Considered going for 125 again, but wasn't confident I'd make it, so called it there.

10:00 piece started off great and went downhill.  Jerks were very easy, 165 has become a weight I don't even have to think about.  First 3 rounds of HSPUs unbroken, but not easy at all.  Fell off the wall on the first or second rep on all remaining sets (so 1/4, 2/3, 1/4 and 1/2).  This is super annoying.  Why are strict so much easier for me?  Double-unders all unbroken except one early trip on one round, which was just a fluke.

Couldn't quite get to the pace I wanted on the row sprints.  Hung out at 1:36-1:38 throughout, no fading.  I could just tell that the output wasn't as high as it could be, but I couldn't do anything about it, which was kind of a weird feeling.

Wednesday

AM
6000m row @ Z1
+
10:00 hamstring/hip/quad mobility work

PM
A. Front squat w/no sleeves, 4 x 3-4, 20X1; 2:30 rest
B. Pendlay row, 3 x 4-5, 20X0; 2:00 rest
+
For 12:00:
Evens: 1 bar muscle-up + 4 toes-to-bar
Odds: 6-8 ring push-ups
+
For time @ 90%:
200m run
4 rope climbs
200m run
3 rope climbs
200m run
2 rope climbs
200m run

AM

skipped; early morning in lab

PM

A. 183, 193, 203, 213(3)

B. 143, 153(4), 153(5)

+

complete

8 across 

+

8:38

Super annoyed that I had to skip the AM session today - I was scheduled for a 7:45AM meeting on Tuesday 12/08, and when I showed up to work yesterday (2 hours earlier than normal) I was informed that they made a mistake and it would actually be on Wednesday.  I pride myself on keeping an organized calendar and found it extremely disrespectful (on the part of the Admin, it's her entire job!) to make a mistake like that, and not apologize profusely.  Rant over.  I might make up the row on Friday morning.  Or, I might sleep in and eat pancakes.  We'll see.

Front squats felt better than last week; in nanos, no belt on the first two sets, but then felt like my back was rounding and that was the limiting factor, not my legs, so I added the belt and I think it made a big difference.  Still don't like how heavy these feel.

Grip was the limiter on the Pendlay rows - hook gripped, it just slipped out of my hands by the 4th rep at 153.  Hung on for the 5th rep on the last set, but the tempo and form were a little off because I was struggling not to drop the bar.

EMOM went well; missed the first 2 attempts at a BMU, but once I made one, no further misses.  Most of these felt very easy, only one wasn't.  Added a bonus rep at the end (the easiest of them all!) in an attempt for a double, but no dice.

Ring push-ups were also very easy, but half way through I realized that I wasn't completely horizontal - had a 24" box and the high rings on the end; I'm pretty sure last time I used these rings I added a plate on top of the box.  Oops, sorry!

The for time piece was hard.  I wasn't able to push the pace on the rope climbs as much as I was last week, and felt like I was standing around a lot.  Runs felt good, kept the pace moderate until the last 200m, which was not quite a sprint but much higher than a sustainable pace.

Tuesday

OFF or Z1 active recovery of choice

OFF

Monday

AM
1600m light sled drag, alternate forward & backward as desired
+
10:00 mobility work of choice

PM
A. Back squat w/chains, 8 x 2 @ 45% 1RM on bar, 10X1 - emphasis on depth & speed; begin a set every :60
B1. KB weighted pistols to bench/box (same set up as last week), 4 x 2-3/leg, 21X1; :30 between legs, :30 rest
B2. Weighted pronated pull-ups, 4 x 2-3, 21X0; :60 rest
+
8:00 @ 80%:
5 CTB pull-ups
10 burpees
30 double-unders
+
Not for time:
2000m row @ 80% effort

AM

subbed 30:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM

A. complete with 135 on the bar

B1. 53, 60, 70, 79(2)

B2. 25, 30, 35, 40(2) @ 165.5

+

5 + 1 CTB

+

complete

Solid training day!

Back squats still feel really fast and easy - didn't notice the additional 15lbs on the bar at all.

KB weighted pistols got to be pretty challenging.

Weighted pull-ups felt really good.  Those match a 3RM and 2RM for added weight, but I'm a few pounds lighter so the total isn't a rep PR (not complaining).

The 8:00 piece was weird.  I felt like I was moving really slowly (on purpose), but my breathing felt like it was immediately over 80%.  All CTBs butterflied, steady on the burpees, and all double-unders unbroken (yes!).

Gave myself a 2:15/500m ceiling on the row.  Held 2:09-2:12 on the first and last 500m, and 2:13-2:15 on the middle 1000m. I'd probably call this 82%.

Sunday

AM
30:00-60:00 easy walk or hike

PM
A. 1 power clean + 1 hang power clean + 1 split jerk, 1-1-1-1-1 tough but not maximal; begin a set every :90
B. Clean-grip deadlift, 6-5-4-3 moderate, 11X1; 2:00 rest
+
4 sets for even reps/calories:
:30 strict handstand push-ups
:30 rest
:30 ski erg
:30 rest
:30 strict handstand push-ups
:30 rest
:30 kettlebell swings, 53
:90 rest

AM

subbed 35:00 AirDyne @ Z1

PM

A. 125, 145, 155, 160, 165, 170F (PC only)

B. 215(6), 225(5), 235(4), 245(3)

+

9, 9, 9, 9 strict handstand push-ups 

6, 6, 6, 6 ski cals

8, 8, 8, 7 strict handstand push-ups 

15, 15, 16, 16 kettlebell swings 


Power cleans felt really easy today, but I was struggling with the HPC on all reps - bounced them all, but was kind of off balance and caught these wide instead of low.  Split jerks were easy and crisp.

This is definitely the upper limit of moderate for the CGDL... in Olys, no belt.

Shoulders are completely, 100% fried.  Jesus.  3/3/3 on all rounds on the first set of strict HSPUs, one pull shy of 7 calories on all rounds of the ski erg (800-900 cal/h), 3/3/2 on the second sets of strict HSPUs (3/3/1 on the last set), and all KBS unbroken.  Hands were inside a 24"x34" box for the handstand push-ups, but I'm 99% certain these were not to Open standards based on how I had to adjust my positioning last week on 15.4.  

Saturday

AM
30:00-60:00 round-the-world of choice or swim

PM
A1. Wrist flexion stretching, kneeling w/top of hands on ground and fingers facing toward feet, rotate locked elbows forward and lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
A2. Wrist extension stretching, kneeling w/palms on ground and hands supinated so fingers facing toward feet, lean back w/fingers pressed into ground, 2 x 10 reps w/short pause @ end range; :30 rest
B. Squat snatch clusters, 5 x 1.1.1; :10 between singles, 2:00 rest
+
5-4-3-2-1 for time:
Muscle-ups
Wall balls, 30 to 9
+
3 sets not for time:
:10 L hang from bar accumulation
:10 L sit on parallettes
5 moderate DB upright rows (both arms at same time)

AM

45:00 complete of row, handstand walk, jog, FLR

+ a little shoulder pre-hab

PM

MobilityFit clinic

+

A1/A2. complete 

B. 115 across

+

9:32

+

complete
35/hand


Didn't want to rush through either the AM or PM session today, so opted to train after the mobility clinic.  Also, figured that would serve as most of my warm-up...

Snatches didn't feel very crisp today, so decided to stick with a moderate weight that carried no risk of failure.  Probably a 50/50 split of true squat snatch and low/parallel power snatch.

Muscle-ups felt terrible today.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong or differently.  All singles, no fails but almost all extremely low catches.  And no discernible kip on the dip, which made a few of these very, very slow lock-outs.  This is so aggravating.  30lb wallballs were challenging; hit myself in the face once, lost my balance more than a few times, but never dropped the ball within a set.

L-sit on parallettes was surprisingly challenging after the L-hang.  Normally 0:10 wouldn't be anything to write home about.

Really enjoyed Drew's clinic.  Honestly, my biggest take-away was that I've been doing a pretty good job keeping up with lower body mobility on my own.  None of the stretches was particularly unpleasant, and nothing felt tight or like it really needed stretching.  After the clinic was over, I asked Drew about that pesky trigger point on the outside of my upper calf (right below the knee) which has been bothering me the entire time that my knee had been injured, so... 16 months? I can't get to it on my own, and Balza has only been able to get it once, so Drew suggested dry needling.  Now that I have real health insurance, I might see if he can knock it out.  It's more of an annoyance than anything, but I'd be very happy to see it go.

Friday

OFF

Skyped with Mike last night - I've gotten super hungry again over the past few weeks, which makes Mike think we've done a good job in fixing my metabolism.  He got rid of my refeed days, and is instead having me hit 150P/60F/300C daily, which scares the crap out of me...

Will someone please tell me if I start to get fatter?  The scale is almost useless, considering I've been bouncing between 159-162 for over two months now (161.2 today, which is annoying).  I'm hitting the panic button if I hit 164 again...

But, in the meantime, pancakes for everyone!

Thursday

AM
5 sets very easy:
2:00 bike
:30 handstand hold - can be against wall
2:00 bike
:30/side plank
+
15:00 mobility work of choice

PM
10:00 muscle-up tech practice on fat rings
+
A1. Bear crawl, 5 x 10' forward + 10' reverse, slow & controlled keeping hips level; :30 rest
A2. Deadbug w/hands pressed into wall, 5 x 10 alternating breathing out hard each rep; :30 rest
B. Hang power snatch, build to a 2RM
+
6 sets even:
1 split jerk from the blocks - your call on weight
35 double-unders
1 split jerk from the blocks
:90 walk rest
+
3 sets:
:45 row @ 97%
5:45 walk rest

AM

4 sets complete

PM

6 not-so-easy singles 

+

A1/A2. complete 

B. 115

+

0:45

0:44

0:43

0:43

0:42

0:43

all unbroken, with 165

+

231m

231m

232m


Thursdays are getting to be hectic days at work, and wouldn't have made it into the gym until 6:30-7pm today, so experimented with training in the morning before work.  I'm not a fan.  Looking forward to switching my schedule around a bit after Christmas... 

Muscle-ups felt terrible, all low catches and not aggressive at all.  I feel like I'm going backwards here; I was stringing together doubles fairly consistently, and today singles were a struggle.  

Hang snatches did not feel nearly as crisp as last week.  Attempted 115 twice, on the first attempt I snatched it once then just pulled it the second time.  The second set at 115 wasn't crisp or smooth at all, so called it there.  Mehhhhhhh.

Split jerk / double-under combo was the highlight of the day.  This was super fun.  Double-unders continue to cooperate, to my great relief. Wanted to choose a weight that I could walk up to without any hesitation, and I think I chose appropriately.  Most of these were crisp and easy, but a couple of the second jerks (after the DUs) were a little shaky.  

Row sprints felt as good as they can... held 1:35-1:36 throughout, no fading. 

Wednesday

AM
5000m row @ Z1
+
10:00 hamstring/hip/quad mobility work

PM
A. Front squat w/no sleeves, 3 x 4-6, 20X1; 2:30 rest
B. Pendlay row, 3 x 5-6, 20X0; 2:00 rest
+
For 10:00:
Evens: 1 bar muscle-up + 4 toes-to-bar
Odds: 7 burpees
+
3 sets @ high effort:
300m run
3 rope climbs
2:30 rest

AM

complete

PM

A. 153, 173, 183(5)

B. 123, 133, 143

+

11:00 to complete the 10 sets

+

2:36

2:31

2:33

Mentally rough day/week.  Physically, everything continues to feel great.  Why do I feel like I need a vacation?

Front squats were just okay.  No belt and in nanos, but a good 30lbs under where I think I should be for this rep range.  Felt the 5th rep at 183 get a little ugly, so racked the bar instead of doing an even uglier 6th rep (although I'm certain I wouldn't have failed).

Pendlay rows felt good; it's been a while, I think I was doing them correctly?

Really liked the BMU/TTB combo!  Missed the second BMU, made it up at the end.

I also really enjoyed the run/rope climb piece (what!?).  Runs felt good, each one got a few seconds faster.  Decided to walk from the gym door to the rope and use that as my only rest, and jumped up immediately into the first climb.  Was pretty good about only taking 2-3 breaths before the second rope climb, but still hesitated a little too much before the 3rd climb on all 3 sets.  No issues at all (3 pulls for all) until the very last rope climb, which was definitely more of a struggle and took 4 wimpy pulls.

Tuesday

OFF or Z1 active recovery of choice

OFF

Monday

AM
1600m light sled drag, alternate forward & backward as desired
+
10:00 mobility work of choice

PM
A. Back squat w/chains, 12 x 2 @ 40% 1RM on bar, 10X1 - emphasis on depth & speed; begin a set every :60
B1. KB weighted pistols to bench/box (same set up as last week), 3 x 2-4/leg, 21X1; :30 between legs, :30 rest
B2. Weighted pronated pull-ups, 3 x 3-4, 21X0; :60 rest
+
1 set:
max unbroken CTB pull-ups
+
4 sets:
500m row @ 1:53.0-1:53.9/500m
2:30 walk rest

AM

skipped; super early morning in lab

PM

A. complete with 120 on the bar

B1. 40, 45, 53

B2. 20, 25(3), 25(3) @166.5

+

17 (PR +3)

+

1:53.5

1:53.6

1:54.1

DNS


Back squats felt excellent today; no issues at all, and the bar felt extremely light.

Box pistols were fine; the 53 was probably a 4RM, not very easy to stand up the last rep (on both legs).

Weighted pull-ups felt really good.  I always like pronated better.

Haven't tested a max set of CTBs since I've gotten more comfortable with butterfly - opened with 10, then kind of panicked in the same way that you panic when approaching a PR of double-unders ("I'm doing it!  I'm really doing it!  Oh... shit.  Nevermind.").  The last 7 were painfully slow, with a very awkward swing/double kip.  I'd like to practice larger sets of butterfly CTBs, the 10 felt really easy.

I let the row pace intimidate me all day, and sure enough, I failed.  The first one today felt like it was the 4th one.  I had to really, really work to maintain the pace, and I knew I was in trouble.  Shocked that I kept pace on the second one, but at this point it felt like the OPTathlon row repeats, with my legs getting lactic and my breathing was completely out of control.  Didn't even want to start the 3rd one, and kind of gave myself permission to give up before I started, but shockingly, I held on for 480m.  The pace drifted up to 1:58 and I just stopped pulling instead of fighting it with less than 20m remaining.  Laid on the ground for a good 5 minutes after this, then went outside because I legitimately thought I was going to puke.  I don't understand how 0:01 makes that much of a difference.